Monday, November 21, 2011

Social Anxiety Disorder

I can feel my heart beating faster and faster. My palms are already wet from the sweats. I'm going to step into this roomful of strangers and not-so-familiar people. It's a dangerous territory ahead. Oh my GOD...I just hate these social situation.

My shyness meter will suddenly going way up and it's more than usual. Mind goes blank and what are those 2 women staring at?! Are they talking about me? I bet they are. I feel so awkward now. Now everyone is looking at my direction. Oh dear, they must be scrutinizing everything about me. Voices are getting louder and my chest is getting tight now.

I can my blood drowning away from my head and my cheeks feel so cold. Feeling like a moron standing here. I have no idea whether to walk or stand or even where to look. Is the clock still ticking? That's it. Just run and get the hell out from here.

At least everything seems normal out here, except for me. I don't feel right myself. It's been dragging for too long. I missed out a lot of things in life just because of that. Society anxiety disorder is the biggest challenge of my life that I couldn't tackle. I'd always think that my life could be much better if I'm not being plagued by this or is it really a blessing in disguise? IDK, I just wishes that I could overcome it.

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