I will never deny this. I'm a control freak, a pure narcissist. It's either my way or the highway. Things are to be done the way I want it, especially if I paid for it. The way you do it and the outcome down to the small details for example the arrangement of my wardrobe. It is to be color coded, pattern coded and also design coded. That's it, the ultimatum.
The narcissist in me is what drive my life to perfection. Everything needs to be in order and just the way I want them. It blew my top off when I expected things to be in place and they were just the opposite of what I wanted. Aarggh! It's driving me nuts!
People perceived me as distant, haughty and self-aggrandized. Part of me felt my narcissist streak is difficult too. If only I could be more contended and allow things go along with the flow, I maybe able to deal with less stress in my life. But I couldn't. Everything is planned down to the small details.
I feel insecure about the idea of things being out of my control. I feel that I'll have better gripe of my own destiny if everything's under my control. I may not be always right but this is the way I am.