Breaking her silence finally after several months of speculation, Rihanna sat down with Diane Sawyer and in part two of her interview,she gives the heart-wrenching details of that fateful night, claiming that while it was all happening, he "had no soul in his eyes."
To hear Rihanna recount the events of the evening is shocking, mostly because she confirms all of the worst details, including the fact that one point, Chris threatened to kill her for phoning her assistant. She insists she knew he would never go through it, using his words as a scare tactic to keep her quiet, but the physical abuse that she recounts was very real:
"I fended him off with my feet from one … side of the car, but … it was not like, it was not like a fight with each other. I just … I really just wanted it to stop…I was bleeding. I was swollen in my face. So there was no way of me getting home, except for, my next option was to get out of the car and walk. Start walking in a gown, in a bloody face. So I really don't know what my plan was. I didn't have a plan. That whole night was not part of my plan."
She recalls that by the time the police reached the scene, she was already brutally "battered" and when asked what caused the fight initially, she would only say that he was lying to her:
"I caught him in a lie. And he wouldn't tell the truth … I was being more annoyed at that point in our relationship he had to lie about something so stupid, I couldn't take that he kept lying to me. And he couldn't take that I wouldn't drop it. And … it was ugly."
Along with shining some light on the details of that evening, she also divulges into why, after all the pain he caused her, she returned to him for a period of time. She insists that she was feeling a "host ofemotions " and that her love for him "blinded" her from seeing the reality of the situation. She said, "The physical wounds go away, you put it in the back of your head and you start lying to yourself subconsciously."
Feeling "lonely" and "humiliated," especially after the leak of the photo of her face after Chris' attack, it took her getting over the hurdle of feeling the need to protect Chris before she could walk away:
"I just said to him, 'I can't do this.' I resented him. I resented him so much. And I always put the tough face on and try to, I can do anything face, and just try to play it off. But he knew. He knew it. He kept asking me, 'You hate me, don't you? You hate me,'" she told Sawyer. "And I would lie and I would say, 'No, no. And … I did hate him. … Everything about him annoyed me. So finally … I just said, we can't … we can't do this. I cannot continue to do this."
Finally, though she says she has grown and feels like the worst of the incident is behind her, she makes it clear that in the end, it is something that she will always take with her, a piece of her that can never be healed:
"The thing that men don't realize, when they hit a woman, it's… the face, the broken arm, the black eye, it's going to heal. That's not … the problem. It's the scar inside. You flashback. You … you remember it all the time. It comes back to you whether you like it or not. And it's painful. So I don't think he understood that. They never do."
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