Guts? I think I have. It's the very thing that bought this catastrophe upon myself. Have I not dared to even give it a thought at the beginning, the bubbles that cocooned my emotions wouldn't have burst just like that. I will still be living an emotional steadied life and I will not have to experience that awful pain over and over again.
Honestly, it isn't something that conquered a big part of my existence. It was just for a while compared with what I've been through all my life. Just a tiny spot but it really hit where it hurts the most, my heart.
Stones and sticks can't break me, making me arise with more strength than ever from all other aspect of my life. My stubbornness enabled me to be who am I today and to refused to give up no matter what. Then this insane matter came along and put me into the most complicated situation I ever had to face. It had conquered my heart making me losing my own sense of directions. As if it's eating away the very essence of myself, I feel myself wasting away day after day.
I fought hard in this battle. I've tried to pull myself back from the abyss once too many times. I'm struggling here in the dark. I see the light on the other end, I really do. But it seems that no matter how I tried to march forward to it, it is still so far away. I will still continue to move towards the light even if it takes me forever to do so.
I just can't let myself wasted away because of it.