Friday, July 6, 2012

The Gemini In Me

Complicated, difficult, eccentric, annoying, hot tempered, super bitch are how some described me. I'm both extrovert and introvert. I can be the life of the party and also the wallpaper at the same time. Even I can't predict myself, just like Dr Jekyll and Miss Hyde. 2 different persona sharing 1 physical body, each must takes turn to have its says.

Extreme is the best word to describe myself. There's no in between for me especially when it comes to human interaction. It's either hate or love, very simple. Black or white but never grey for me. I could be very rational one moment but falling head over heels with the wrong guy. Had a clear mind about what I want in a guy and proceeded to throwing all the cautions to the wind finally.

My attention span is way shorter than a 3 years old kid and it will never grow further than that even as I aged. One minute, I'm into baking, the next one I might go for skateboarding and so on. Just like a computer, you can have a few tabs opened at the same time but none of them are working at the optimum level and they'll be crashing anytime soon. In the end, none of the tasks can be completed. From dreaming of being a ballerina to be a baseball player PHEW...I wonder if I can live long enough to get myself to be involved in all these activities.

Everything about me is like a flip of a coin. There's always 2 sides of me in every aspect. Yin and Yang. IDK if this is what they called a balance element but I sure know that I'm always capable of driving people around me up the wall. Sometimes it is because of me that they too had conjured the split persona in them. Usually they are very forgiving and love me to bits but there are times that they wanted to kill me too.

A former colleague only dared to tell me what she thought of me when she had finally left the company. That I was a very stubborn person and things will always has to be my way and no other ways. Someone who refused others opinion. She felt very irritated and annoyed by me sometimes. She has seen me flaring up in anger not once or twice but on a numerous occasions. I'm not the easiest person for her to please but somehow she thought that I'm a very adorable person. Like a child, crying and screaming and then playing and laughing again in the shortest period of time like nothing had happened at all. That's what she told me. At least if she dislike one part of me, there's still another different part of me that she likes in me.

There are simple to many negative attributes in me that drove others away from my life. Any other sane person would very much wanted to change to be a better person but not me. I'm not budging at all. I think it's what who made me who I am today and allowing me to have what I have today. If there's someone out there who couldn't accept me for who I am, they never did genuinely love me as a person. These people can just get the hell out of my life.

Anyway, I must really salute to those who had endured so much of my crazy episodes all these times. You people are the best in my life for I know that I would never be able to handle or tolerate another person like myself. Not in a million years.

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