Looking Back

What exactly had happened in that particular year for you? Was it a bitter or a sweet memory for you?

Have you ever wished you could turn back the hand of that clock on the wall? Or go back even way beyond that? I do actually.

My entire core was based on certain belief. I was enthralled in a trance as if I dabbled in some sort of cult. I had always believe that if I'd be a good being, earned some brownie points and held on to it long enough, it would bring me happiness. It had almost caused me my sanity and my life.


One particular year, this entire core of mine had collapsed when the bubble that I grew up in had been pricked repeatedly by some unmentionable beings. The bubble that held myself and my belief together. Deeply shaken, it was the most difficult time of my life. It was so painful that it felt surreal. The thought of it always brings tears to my eyes.

I had been trying to rebuild my core from that day onwards and I'm still working on it. I don't know how long will it takes to finish or if it's ever finish. Looking back, it would be much easier if I could just turn back time and back to the days of the innocence. At least I was a still a piece of white canvas to begin with.

Another unresolved matter that dragged on for another year for me. Anyone else out there?

Anyway, Happy Winter Solstice everyone!