My Tears

If I could find tears within my heart because this, I might be able to find 'it' again. I maybe crying of pain or happiness but not for 'this'. I'm not able to cry for 'this' and IDK if I ever able to do it again.

Dear Ian

*Hugs*At least you found him and you know that you love him. You dared to love and to love him from afar. That shows that you are still lovable and hope you'll find that special someone to share your principles and believe in life soon.

It's been a long and winding journey for me. I never went beyond liking someone these few years and I wonder if I still able to love someone like any warm blooded human does. I've tried hard to find that feelings within me again. Lost count of how many times that I failed.

Maybe I've lost it forever, IDK

Sadness

Feeling a little sad now. Can't push it away and it's sticking to me like a glue. Just how many times do I have to go through this? Struggling with hopelessness and sadness just for a sniff of happiness and it wasn't even real. I'm getting so bloody tired this time.

Life Is Cruel

I was just passing by the boutique on my way to get my daily caffeine fix when the mannequin caught my eyes. It was wearing the loveliest dress that my eyes ever laid on. I just had to own it. And then I was told that it was the last piece and it was already taken, awaiting the lucky owner to collect it.

Just like the other aspect of my life, 'things' I like are always taken and they will never be mine. Life is cruel...

Disastrous Dates

Things in life always take unexpected turns for me. It's always almost a guaranteed major disappointment awaits whenever I'm expecting something. And most of the time when the disappointment has set in, that's when surprise awaits me. Just because when you are not expecting anything then.

Just like those blind dates that my friends arranged for me.At first I went along happily hoping to meet someone special, dressing up nicely for the occasion until the whole thing went downhill from the moment both of we shakes hands. He has nothing that I want in my dream guy, full stop. Went home disappointed while trying hard not to look like it. This repeats and repeats until I have finally lose the happily ever after plot from my heart.

I vowed, no more blind dates but not until this last one because my friend has already arranged for me. Fine, one bloody last one for me and I turned up the date with a I-Don't-Give -A-Shit attitude and appearance. Suddenly, this has become the biggest regret in my entire adult life! Kicked myself right there and then for turning up the way I am now. I called this DISASTER.

SHIT !SHIT ! SHIT ! Why are the pranks are always on me?!

Excuse me, you looked familiar to me

Do I have a face that looks like those mass produced dolls where each of them came from the same mold? Do I looked like everyone else? Don't I look like myself? Is my face that common?

Why do people keep mistaken me from someone else?

I'm Not Impressed At All

Some stainless steel diamond ring, some newly bought expensive handbags, some managerial position at work...BLA...BLA...BLA....

Some people are pure opportunist. Ones that never missed out a single chance to show off, like everyone else is blind and dumb. Who doesn't know about Tiffany&Co? What about those expensive Prada, Louis Vuitton( I bet most of those who flaunt them in my face couldn't even pronounce the name correctly) and so on. Not that they are the only one who owned those things and I'm not blind you know? Pure bitches.

Then there's this nobody that introduce himself as some manager to me. He's trying to tell me that he's somebody when his actions proved otherwise. Thinking that I was born yesterday and maybe I would be impressed? Hell not, I blocked him right away!

Why do you have to rub it in others face? You must be super desperate. Craving for others acknowledgement of your standing in the society? Pathetic...