Sadness

Feeling a little sad now. Can't push it away and it's sticking to me like a glue. Just how many times do I have to go through this? Struggling with hopelessness and sadness just for a sniff of happiness and it wasn't even real. I'm getting so bloody tired this time.

Life Is Cruel

I was just passing by the boutique on my way to get my daily caffeine fix when the mannequin caught my eyes. It was wearing the loveliest dress that my eyes ever laid on. I just had to own it. And then I was told that it was the last piece and it was already taken, awaiting the lucky owner to collect it.

Just like the other aspect of my life, 'things' I like are always taken and they will never be mine. Life is cruel...

Disastrous Dates

Things in life always take unexpected turns for me. It's always almost a guaranteed major disappointment awaits whenever I'm expecting something. And most of the time when the disappointment has set in, that's when surprise awaits me. Just because when you are not expecting anything then.

Just like those blind dates that my friends arranged for me.At first I went along happily hoping to meet someone special, dressing up nicely for the occasion until the whole thing went downhill from the moment both of we shakes hands. He has nothing that I want in my dream guy, full stop. Went home disappointed while trying hard not to look like it. This repeats and repeats until I have finally lose the happily ever after plot from my heart.

I vowed, no more blind dates but not until this last one because my friend has already arranged for me. Fine, one bloody last one for me and I turned up the date with a I-Don't-Give -A-Shit attitude and appearance. Suddenly, this has become the biggest regret in my entire adult life! Kicked myself right there and then for turning up the way I am now. I called this DISASTER.

SHIT !SHIT ! SHIT ! Why are the pranks are always on me?!

Excuse me, you looked familiar to me

Do I have a face that looks like those mass produced dolls where each of them came from the same mold? Do I looked like everyone else? Don't I look like myself? Is my face that common?

Why do people keep mistaken me from someone else?

I'm Not Impressed At All

Some stainless steel diamond ring, some newly bought expensive handbags, some managerial position at work...BLA...BLA...BLA....

Some people are pure opportunist. Ones that never missed out a single chance to show off, like everyone else is blind and dumb. Who doesn't know about Tiffany&Co? What about those expensive Prada, Louis Vuitton( I bet most of those who flaunt them in my face couldn't even pronounce the name correctly) and so on. Not that they are the only one who owned those things and I'm not blind you know? Pure bitches.

Then there's this nobody that introduce himself as some manager to me. He's trying to tell me that he's somebody when his actions proved otherwise. Thinking that I was born yesterday and maybe I would be impressed? Hell not, I blocked him right away!

Why do you have to rub it in others face? You must be super desperate. Craving for others acknowledgement of your standing in the society? Pathetic...

Communication Error

The world is getting smaller and smaller. Communication is very convenient nowadays. You can speak to anyone at anytime from anywhere in the world easily. It makes everyone's life seems easier but not mine. It made mine a nightmare.

Here's why:

1. Some inconsiderate always call at the wrong time especially when I'm sleeping. It's either late at night or early in the morning. Had to turn my phone to silent mode and these had also made me missed a few important calls.

2. Gone were the days where we used to be very punctual for our appointments. When we said "Meet you under the bridge at 3pm" it really means so. Nowadays? " I'll call you when I reach there" but what time exactly? I could be waiting for you from 3pm to 3am!

3. Had to come up with better excuses to avoid somebody. I can't pretend that I'm not at home anymore! If I leave calls unanswered pretending to be busy, someone might sees me on Facebook playing games!

4. Whenever I'm trying to aim for high scores in FourSquare, there's always someone messaging me to question why am I doing there or why am I not asleep yet. I don't know what makes them think that I have to answer them about that.

5. People came to me asking why haven't i accept them as friend on Facebook yet, why can't they see my profile and why did i delete them as friend. Isn't it obvious that I don't want you to be my friend and yet you are still bothering me? Please stop harrasing me with your stupidity! I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND , as simple as that.

And there are so much more that I couldn't continue here as there's an idiot that keeps calling me and she's not even looking for me because she got the wrong number as I'm blogging about this.

Pondering Over Today's Dinner

Do you know? Do you know that you have been missing out a lot of good things in life. Too much had escape like trying to catch water in your fist. When you are willing to open up your palms, you are able to cupped some water in them. When your heart is open, naturally good things will come to you.

It's funny how my life and food entwined. Like how I avoided food with black coloring just because of some old wives tales. My attire of the day dictates what's for lunch. No curry if I'm in white. No pungent food if I'm working, had to pick out all those scallions one by one. Having durian with fork and spoon and only on the evening of the day before my day off. No sizzling or hot stone or self barbecue food because I'm afraid of the smoky smell that lingers afterwards. Because of all this, I've been missing out plenty of nice food. Went to Pepper Lunch at IMM for dinner and it was so nice that I've been kicking myself for not trying out earlier. Only to came this far to discover this nice place when I always passed by the restaurant while I'm on errands back home.

Some may think that I'm nuts to fussed over small matter like this but I'm the type that think and worry too much. It's also where I learned to interpret the meaning and purpose of everything that is happening around me.

Something gotta change for good...