Would imperfection make me content?

Had this agonising pain in the neck few days ago and I thought I might be having a stroke or something. Turned out it was just some strain on my neck and I was being paranoid again. Silly me but it had me thinking. Is this life all about? From a baby to adult. Dating and getting married? Working my ass off and getting old? No! I'm working hard because I'm not dying yet and I need the financial stability to survive in this crazy world.

I lied in my bed that evening with the pain trying to re-evaluate my priorities and re-discovering myself. I prayed hard that the pain will go away soon and made a one sided deal with GOD. I prayed that I will never die before my Elise does. That HE'll grant me a sickness free but short life. Begged that HE won't dragged my life for too long plagued with sickness. I realized that I trusted nobody at all, nobody that could take care of me if I needed it. I've been pushing myself too hard by the thought of it. This is why I always feel so irritated all the time. Doing everything by myself and trusting nobody.

Would I be happier if I could let go? Would it be a better place for me if I simply settled for less in every aspect of my life? Would imperfection make me content?

I'm Afraid of Retribution

First meal of oatmeal for my resolution to eat healthier and lose some weight and I already feel like breaking the resolution altogether. Thinking of giving up on the first spoonful of oatmeal porridge.

I've tried to make it more interesting by adding some Manuka honey, unsweetened fig jam and cheese and yet I still feel like throwing up. The last spoonful of oatmeal has went down the sink's drain.

Shall I just forget about being a skinny bitch and go au natural like the singer Adele? But I've been a jerk for calling others fat ass when I was a kid and I wouldn't want to be on the other side of the act of retribution for my past sins if I ever grow sideways! And it could come in ten fold!

Oh my, losing weight is damn hard.

Someone Please Slap My Damn Mouth

This is obviously a wolf, not a dog...

This ain't the first time nor the last time that I commited this faux pas. I can't differentiate between a dog and a wolf. Mistaken someone's wolf tattoo for a dog. I even complimentated how cute her dog is.

Called the beautiful white wolf display at Gallo by Thian a dog today. Thank God the designer herself didn't hear this.

It's really insulting, I mean me as the insulter. Those who feel offended, you may slap me if that could make you feel better.

She's A Keeper

Those who really genuinely cared and loved, will always have your best interest in their heart. They wished for the best for you and they never tell you to settle for less in your life. And I found a keeper! Happy Valentine's Day!

Discovering Healthier Cooking

Dinner-Kimchi soup with fresh mushroom, greens and some limpets. Well, it tastes almost perfect with the wonderful taste of mushroom that lingers in the palate.

I Prefer Her Companion Anytime

Most the time I would rather stay home and play with Elise. Is it possible that I love my pet too much? I find it safer, easier and more emotionally fulfilling to focus on Elise, who is never demanding or critical, and would never leave me feeling rejected, abandoned or even betray me.

Curiosity Of The Ancient World

Perhaps it's a lifetime regret that I can't read chinese. Been missing out on a lot of good books and to learn more about the history of the imperial China. I've been fascinated with their emperors and empresses. Collected books on Empress Tsu Hsi, Wu Zetian and so on. Where every step they took in the palace could be their last and how they rise to power. A lot of people found it boring but to me, it's where I learn the ugly truth of humanity and the way of life.

It's also some kind of escape for me, from this real world. What will it be like if I live in that period of time or who will I be?

The Impressions of the West Lake by Zhang Yimou in Hangzhou had me watched in awe and I'm hoping to watch it again soon.

Yang Concubine defined a different meaning of beauty...

Ancient costume dramas with English subtitles of course